Amanda Nicole Littlejohn

I feel like I have been putting off this post because it just doesn't seem real. It has been almost 3 months since that day... A day I lost one of the greatest friends I have ever had.  Last night I woke up because I was dreaming that some how I could save you, some how I could keep you here. It just doesn't feel real. The last time I saw you, you were yourself, sure a little different physically but completely yourself. We laughed, and watched some TV, we ate some Del Taco, and you snuggled Owen. You told me; "Guess what we are having for dinner tonight, and by we I mean not you, my family??..." hahahaha only you would say that Amanda. Only you.

I remember when we became friends in third grade! You were my very best friend. It took me awhile to get used to your humor, and your sarcastic tone with everything you said... Remember Amanda D. and Amanda L.hahah You were always my favorite Amanda.

You were my closest friend when my parents got divorced. I remeber learning multiplication with you, and how we used to have to get tested! I was never too good at math... Or at lunch when you would sit on your jelly sandwiches!! I remember in fourth grade when you lost your thumb ring, and we convinced Mrs. Johnson that I NEEDED to help you look for it in the leaves, I'm pretty sure we did look for it, and we also grabbed huge piles of leaves and threw them up in the air! I remember the first time I ever went to your house to play! You had this little doll house on the wall with little furniture and you would hide dollar bills all throughout it! I remember the first time I went to sit on "Nala's" chair, you just about had a heart attack!! You would leave a glass of water on your night stand for the cat.

How about the time I went to the beach with your family, and my bathing suite filled up with sand!! You laughed at me so bad!!! And your dad drove your family's green van super crazy on the Ortegas! :) Or how about when your entire family yelled at me for biting my fork at the dinner table!! BAHAHAHA, or the time your dad ordered Extra pizza sauce on the pizza!!!

I remember going through middle school with you too! When you used to tell me how much you loved Chris Perez, and the time you thought I liked him and you carved "I hate KD" on your desk!! Or when we would walk the mile and talk about all sorts of things!Your Ben Affleck Wall!!! How about meeting up for lunch and you would pick everything off of your pizza and eat the dough, and BBQ chips that you would chew and pat into a ball then eat like an apple!! You were always the most picky eater I had ever known! 

You never like leaving home, and I spent the night on your trundle be a bunch, but you did sleep over at my dads house once with me! We watched The Candy Man and The Man In The Crack, and ate a ton of candy then were seriously super scared that night!!

We had a ton of good memories in high school too! Like our "bench" that we met at every day for lunch! You ate the chicken patty and a DP. How about when you drove my Blazer to your house with Lex!!!! Remember Halloween at the Queen Mary, and how I ruined all of the mazes because I was grabbing your arm telling you where all of the scary monsters were!! I loved  that you always came to my dance recitals! I remember our talk at Dennys it was the first time I ever saw you cry. Our talk that night was priceless to me and a treasured memory. I wish we could have spent more time together after high school but life just seemed to suck us both in. I was so happy you came to my baby shower, I think about you when I give Owen baths in his tub! I always tell him Amanda got it for him and he chews away on the little monkey!

I think of you often, and I look at the pictures of you I have in my house all of the time! I miss you. I wish you were here. I wish you could come over to my house, my Zonk! I hate that there is so much that we will never get to do.

I know you are in heaven and that gives me peace to know that one day I will see you again, but it doesn't take away the pain of now. I think about your family and pray for them often. I know how much you love your mom, she is pretty lovely! Remember how I would always say she reminded me of Sandra Dee! :)

I just miss you. That's all. I  don't think there is any other way to put it...

At your memorial it was amazing to me to see how many lives you touched. You were a fighter, and you lived life with joy even when the times weren't too joyful. You hold such a special place in my heart, my dear sweet friend. I will tell my kids about my crazy friend, and all of the memories I have with you! 

I know you are watching over all of us, everyone who loves you and misses you. I know we will see each other again. I am thankful for that. 

Thinking of you always and missing you

At my baby shower

your name that i wrote on the floor of our church before they carpeted it, i committed to praying for you to know Jesus that day. God answered that prayer!

Good ol' high school days

These are from my senior scrapbook!

loved doing the senior walk in with you!

you got me this journal for my 16th birthday, I still have it

at our bench! this one is in my living room

you with my Owie bean!

love you Amanda!